Who knew that the behind the scenes story of The Barbie Doll, and her creative genius, would be so very fascinating? This is a book of epic proportions, regarding curiousity. There are so many things to learn about Ruth Handler the person and Ruth Handler the business woman that it you really aren’t too keen on putting the book down; that’s if you are into the story behind the story.
Part of understanding the how and why of the success of the Barbie doll that we have come to know and love as part of American history is grasping the extra-ordinary strength and persistence of the woman who came up with the concept of Barbie. Ruth was a very complex woman. She was all about following her instincts; even going against conventional wisdom in the world of business when it suited her purposes. She was wise enough to give the impression of her husband being the head of the business when in fact, he was a designer at heart…he really didn’t have the drive or the desire to be in control of the business aspects. Ruth and Elliot her husband chose to grow their business from the ground up…the poured so much of themselves into it that their children came to resent certain aspects of the business.
As the children grew under the shadow of the business and formed their own personalities and strengths & weaknesses…so did their mother Ruth. She grew up as the youngest of 10 children born to Polish Jewish immigrants. She was actually raised by an older sister and her husband…they became her surrogate parents and Ruth’s business role models.
Ruth was direct, some say ruthless in how she dealt with others; and yet, she was mother- henish about some of her employees. She was both fiercely loved and disliked by many. Ruth had a deep love for her husband. She says that she hated being a stay at home mother, that she was no good at it. She did appear to be born to be a businesswoman in a time when that just was not common. She seemed to have a natural knack for understanding how to fill a gap in the toy market and make it profitable.
There were many challenges in her life. She was not raised by her birth parents, she fought to marry the man she loved, she fought against traditional male and female roles in business; not by being a militant woman, but strictly by being who she was …an entrenpeneur. She battled breast cancer, the legal system and a disease that took the life of her son…AIDS. Ruth Handler was an interesting woman, she became a pioneer in the field of women’s prosthetics after having breast cancer surgery; this was to be one of her biggest contributions to the world was her desire to design something to give women back control of their appearance after having a breast removed.
This book was printed in 2009, by Collins Business; this is their website: http://www.harpercollins.com. The book was written by Robin Gerber. The author’s website is: http://www.ROBINGERBER.COM
This book was a book that I could really sink my teeth into. Mary Ellen Geist is a reporter at heart. She was an afternoon anchor on WCBS Radio in New York, a morning anchor on KGO Radio in San Francisco and a reporter in the Los Angeles area; until, she came home to Michigan to help her mother in caregiving duties for her father who is living his life under assualt of the disease of Alzheimers. Alzheimers is a cruel disease that steals memories, abilities, independence, and the ability to connect to others in the same way that they did before the plaque started to attack the pathways in the brain of those affected.
Mary Ellen holds very little back as she gains experience, wisdom and skills in sharing the caregiving responsibilities, with her mother, for her father. I found the book to be very interesting as it stretches the heart, the mind and the soul of the reader to understand the range of care that is involved in caring for a loved one throughout all the stages of Alzheimers. The book is not only a personal journey of discovery it is also a good guide book on common experiences of what to do and what not to do for those in the same situation. The book is an important text on taking daily stock of what is working today, and what is not, to allow the most amount of independence while balancing the safety and well-being of the patient.
As the children and spouses, of those affected by Alzheimers, struggle to provide a safety net of love and support…it is important to recognize what they also give up in their quest to provide family based care. The daily losses are a sad reminder to make every moment count with those that we care about. But the real nuggets of gold seem to be in finding the small moments of joy when something works, when a special memory comes forth just at the right moment…when a caregiver begins to wonder whether what they are trying to provide their loved one with is really worth the effort and the sacrifice. For those who are in more of a combative situation with the loved one (usually in the latter stages of the disease) it is important for the caregiver to constantly remind themselves that this is the disease talking and acting out…not their loved one! It is important not to take things personally when there are disagreements, accusations and verbal outbursts.
More importantly, it is extremely imperitive that the caregiver have back up help that they trust. You must find “me” time…because it is easy to lose yourself in the grind of meeting the other person’s needs 24/7. Taking care of oneself when you are a full-time caregiver is a must; caregivers often loose their own health and well-being in trying to give so much to another human being. It is an act of love and commitment to care for your own well-being; because if you aren’t well balanced physically and emotionally…you will have nothing left to give.
What Mary Ellen and her mother have been able to provide her father with, is dignity. They do this even though the web of the disease tries to remove the basic components of who the alzheimers patient really is. Their memories and their daily habits seem to vanish one by one until there remains a shadowy shell of the original personality. But, the strength and courage of families faced with this disease is of heroic proportions. They fight tooth and nail to bring him back to them daily, through his lifelong loves of tennis and music. Music is the connector for “Woody”, Mary Ellen’s father. He is able to sing lyrics from songs that he sang with an acapella group for most of his life; that is an achievement for someone who struggles to remember associations between words and objects during conversations. This is the magic that allows Woody to connect with people and events that otherwise would be lost to him and his family.
In a way, Woody’s caregivers use music like others would use medication. It is their umbilical cord to the wandering soul of the man they love. This book will make you laugh, cry, and it will make you joyous for each moment of overcoming and connecting. It is eye opening to those who face a future of caregiving. It is encouraging for those in the midst of commitment to caregiving for another. And it is a life lesson in determining how far you are willing to go to keep someone with you who may or may not remember who you are…even though you remember all about your relationship. Memories become both a blessing and a curse as it can wound you as a caregiver, to no longer have the same intensity of connection in the patient’s mind to mutual people, places or events from the past and present.
Measure of the Heart was published in 2008 by Springboard Press. You can visit their website: http://www.HachetteBooksGroupUSA.com . Or, you can visit the author’s website here: http://maryellengeist.com/content/index.asp .
Rainy’s Recommendations
